I’m sitting here, tired with disheveled hair.Every morning you’d smileand somehow find it adorable.While I’m stuck in my grumpiness,I can’t help but lighten up when I see youAnd I wish we had more moments like thisWhen you admired the sun crawling across my face,highlighting my pale freckled skinfor some reason it amazed youAs I slept and was totally unawareuntil I… Read More »Disheveled
Each moment passed me like ocean waves,I remain still. Static.As you call me to shores, and sunsets,to every beautiful moment to face my fear of drowning.You ask me to look down from mountain topsdown into vast canyonsto swim in lit underground cavernsto remind myself I’m still alive. You ask me to take pictureswhere the light overlaps and entwinesfrom perspectives only… Read More »You remind me
I met a girl named Mandy when I was 22 yrs old, she taught me a lot about the world, and about people. I’m very grateful for the ten years we had together. She taught me to have empathy for others. She was truly an amazing human being. I’ve been a music composer and producer for most of my life.… Read More »Grief and Music
I spent a lot of time with the woman I loved in my 20s, rather than doing the things I wanted to do with music. That turned out to be very important, and I’m grateful for every moment I had with her. I feel like there’s not enough time in life, in general. There are so many things I want to do, to better myself and to grow. I want to learn things, and it seems to overwhelm me. Like I never have the capacity. I begin to integrate things into my life, and then they leave me just as quickly. I can’t grasp onto it and keep it. Gone like the moments and the time which keeps passing.
Is it better to concentrate on a subject, or just let my mind wander? Seems like when it just wanders, it stays floating on a shallow surface. My everyday safe place, I suppose? Ever look over at a clock to see what time it is, only to turn back and wonder what time it is? So zoned out and on autopilot. How many people live their lives that way? How many people have given up on their goals when they were staring them in the face? How many people don’t realize where they’re at in this world? Their place, gifts, talents, or what their experience can offer the people around them?
I keep journals full of stream of thought writing. And I promised myself not to read them until at least six months have passed. I realized when I first began to sift through them, that they were full of some pretty deep and brilliant insights. These insights would just come in a moment, unexpectedly after at least a page and a half of complete mumbo-jumbo, (i.e. Talking about how much my hand hurts, or complaining about something completely ridiculous.) But when it came to the insightful moments, they would move me to tears. They were right to the core of who I was being in the moment.