June 28, 2016 Excerpt
Is it better to concentrate on a subject, or just let my mind wander?
Seems like when it just wanders, it stays floating on a shallow surface.
My everyday safe place, I suppose?
Do you ever look over at a clock to see what time it is, only to turn back and wonder what time it is?
So zoned out and on autopilot.
How many people live their lives that way?
How many people give up on their goals, right as they’re staring them in the face?
How many people don’t realize their place in this world?
Their gifts, talents, or what the depths of their experience can offer to those around them?
There’s so far to go…
I never feel like I’m on the cusp of that kind of achievement.
How come?
Part of me has become so jaded. I get the feeling of “What’s the use?”.
I’ve always either taken the long, drawn-out road
and maybe that’s allowed me to never be fully committed.
And when nothing is ever perfect enough,
that makes it so easy to give up.
I suppose if I don’t have a crazy amount of passion about something,
it’s a lot harder to be hurt?
It doesn’t work.
I end up being the one who’s hurting myself.
I’m the one laughing off the seriousness.
I’m the one admitting my passion isn’t what it used to be, because I used to be a ‘naive kid’ that didn’t realize how “brutal and painful” the “real world” feels.
But…
I have admiration for others who can openly express themselves
and in the process, they can move people emotionally.
That takes courage to do.
Right there, that tells me how natural it is for people to have fear of this type of expression.
I wish I was that ‘naive kid’ again,
because there was something right in who I was,
and that kid understood things without knowing.
Everything was just stumbling,
and getting back up again.
Life is not on the shallow surface,
and life is not in playing it safe
but standing up to face ‘failure’ again and again
and realize you’re lying to yourself.
It’s a chance to be courageous
and be exactly what the world needs.